Couples Therapy — When Is It Worth Starting and What to Expect?

Couples Therapy — When Is It Worth Starting and What to Expect?

Most couples who come to a therapist's office say the same thing: "We should have come sooner." Too often, couples therapy is associated with a last resort — something you reach for only when the relationship is one step from falling apart. In fact, the earlier a couple decides to talk to a therapist, the greater the chances of real change.

How Do You Know It Is Time for Therapy?

There is no single clear signal. Often it is more of a growing feeling that something is not working — despite good intentions from both sides. Here are signs that may indicate it is worth seeking support:

• The same arguments have been recurring for months or years without any resolution
• Conversations about important matters end in an attack, silence, or walking out of the room
• One or both partners feel lonely — even though they are together
• Physical or emotional intimacy has clearly diminished and neither knows how to restore it
• After infidelity or another serious crisis, the couple is trying to move forward but does not know how
• You are planning an important step — a child, a wedding, a move — and feel you have different visions of the future

Research shows that couples who seek help earlier have significantly better chances of improving their relationship than those who wait for years.

What Happens at the First Session?

The first session usually lasts 60 to 90 minutes. The therapist is not a judge and will not determine who is right. Their job is to understand both partners — their history, their way of communicating, and what they specifically bring to the table.

At the first session, you can expect questions about the history of your relationship, what you value in each other, and what you would like to change. You do not need to "agree" on the assessment of the problem for therapy to make sense. It is enough that you both want to try.

How Long Does Couples Therapy Last?

There is no single answer. On average, couples therapy lasts from a dozen to about twenty sessions, with sessions held weekly or biweekly. Some couples need less — a few sessions to unblock communication and move forward on their own. Others work longer, especially if crises have been accumulating for years.

The EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) method — one of the most researched methods for working with couples — typically involves 15 to 25 sessions. Research shows that after completing a full EFT cycle, approximately 70–75% of couples achieve their therapeutic goals. The Gottman Method is based more on exercises and analysis of specific communication patterns. The therapist at Sztuka Harmonii selects the approach based on the needs of the particular couple.

Common Fears Before Therapy

"The therapist will take my partner's side." The therapist does not take sides. Their role is to create a space where both of you can speak and be heard.

"We will have to tell everything from the beginning." The first sessions involve gathering information, but the therapist does not require a full life history right away. The pace of work is tailored to the couple.

"Therapy means the relationship is already over." This is one of the most deeply rooted myths. Couples therapy is just as often a step toward deeper intimacy as it is a way to assess whether the relationship has a future.

"My partner does not want to go." This is a common situation. If one partner is resistant, it sometimes helps to start with a few individual sessions — to better understand your own position in the relationship.

Couples Therapy at Centrum Psychologiczne Sztuka Harmonii

At Centrum Psychologiczne Sztuka Harmonii, couples therapy is led by Anna Grys, MA — a psychologist and sexologist with experience in working with couples in crisis, intimacy issues, and sexual problems — as well as Julia Augustyniak, MA, who specializes in couples therapy and relationships.

The first session can be booked by phone at 732 059 980. You do not need to know "what exactly the problem is" — the desire to talk is enough.

Couples therapy is not an admission of failure. It is a decision that you care about each other enough to invest time and effort in change. If you feel that something in your relationship needs attention, do not wait until the situation becomes unbearable.